Remember waking up early as a kid on Saturday morning so you could watch the NASCAR cartoon? Neither do we, but the animated Coke ad was darn cool. That's right, we said darn cool.

There should be more ads like this one on TV. We didn't even care that the lead singer from Hootie and the Blowfish was in it. We really didn't. OK, maybe we did. But just a little.

Suddenly, we're hungry for a big piece of turkey. The new Nextel phone can do a bunch of things, but we don't really care about that. We like the large turkeys and the delicious looking cooked turkey legs. Isn't meat great?

Something tells us that if Dale Jarrett actually did race the UPS truck in an official NASCAR race, he'd get smoked. That is, unless it was a demolition derby NASCAR race.

If there were really a program that sold automobile parts as fashion accessories, we'd never leave the house. Other things we'd never leave house if it existed ... actually, we won't go there.

A popular Simpsons character gets outed. Start your outed pools now. We've got Patty Bouvier. Though, it could be Barney. He has a crush on Homer. Everything will get really awkward.Notice how they're playing down the gay issue during the Daytona? Don't want to piss off the red-staters.

As this goes to show, you'll do just about anything for a ice-cold, tasty brew. You'd step over your own mother just to get to one! Unfortunately, one such gentleman will need dental work after this failed attempt to get a taste of the fermented goodness.

How cool would it be to have NASCAR's finest cars wheeling around your living room? Very cool. But not real cars; miniature versions of the real cars. It's safer that way, because then you won't have to worry about the family cat getting run over. And it's never funny when your family gets run over.

NASCAR drivers Jamie McMurray and Kasey Kahne learn to surf with some of the sport's legends including former world champion Kelly Slater.

The guys discuss the hot topics as the season kicks off with a bang.